Herastrau Park

So what do you know, its been two three days since i wanted to write this, but i just never got around to it. Now, let me get to the point. I usually walk my dog every morning during the weekend, in Herastrau. For the past few weekends its been interesting because there were several cross country races. By the way, I walk my dog fairly early in the morning to avoid the crazy rush.
These races seemed to bring over a lot of international people. Last Saturday as I was sitting on the bench admiring the beautiful lake and keeping a close eye on the dog, a couple with a baby in a stroller came and asked me if I can tell them the way out of the park. I was delighted to help them out especially since I had to use the English language which i miss so much. So I explained to quicker way out, but unfortunately this also wanted to catch a cab. So the quickest way out was not really the best way, so instead of explaining which routes to take in order to get to the main entrance/exist area I decided to walk out with them. Really nice couple, over 30, that seems Spanish for at first glance, but them I realized they were from the Middle East. Anyway, we walked around and talked. it was the wife's and the daughter's first trip to Bucharest. The husband works here periodically so he knows the city a little. The wife was amaized at the beautiful flowers in the park. Indeed it's been years since the park has been so clean, so full of flowers and grass. The point is that she said the park is way more beautiful than Central Park in New York. Wow! I was very surprized. I havent seen the park from NY, but I was happy to see tourists enjoying Bucharest. It seemed rather strange, because I only heard complaints: the strays, the garbage, the traffic,...but hey OUR PARK ROCKS! Doesnt that just feel wonderful?
It certainly makes me feel awesome, not that I had any part in making it look that way. well I do clean after my dog, and I do pick up the trash people throw on the ground, but that's not even a quarter of what the gardeners do in the park. They should know that their work is appreciated!
Not only by tourists, but also by the hundreds of people who stroll there and take pictures. I dont remember ever seeing people take pictures in the park with the flowers before this year, and I've been in that park since i was 2 years old, minus the years I was away from home.
PEOPLE keep the park CLEAN!

What if

What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a break jump over the side
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it if you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life.
That you don't want me there by your side.

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side.
Oooooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try?
Oooooh, that's right

Oooooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the inside
Oooooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light
Oooooh, that's right..

Nobody can harm you as much as you can

We all go through tough situations in life, but really nobody can hurt you as much as you can hurt yourself. That makes sense, right? Your own decisions limit yourself and make you suffer sooner or later and then you realize that you bitch so much about how others hurt you, when in reality it was you, yourself who is to blame. Its easier to blame the others around though, isn't it?
Why accept you did it? On this theme I drew a little something back in the day I was feeling artistic and creative.
This is how you feel when you build a wall around yourself and then try to break free.
And of course there is a song to go along with this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hMrY8jysdg
A very old song as it might be, its fun to listen to from time to time.

The idea is that I find myself once again in this situation when based on the previous decisions
I am hereby declared trapped. What was i thinking at that point? Well I'm sure I was trying to make the right choices. Maybe I even accomplished that, but appearantly it all got me in a dead end. Not cool. At least this time it's going to be easy to get out. The way has been paved by the first few experiences of this sort. Still it feels like Im in a very distant sad place. Like a dog who keeps running around trying to catch its tail. Can it be done?? Hell, yes it can!
I will never stop believing that one can make anything come true as long as you really, really really want to. Well, yes there is a small chance of failure, but doesnt that exist all the time?
I cannot remember a time when that ever scared me or made me reconsider. There is no point to do that. That reminds me of at least two people who got stucked and kept living in their own trap - and still do as a matter of fact. I know its hard to throw away something you have been building for years; especially if its something very up close and personal like a relationship. But why oh why carry on with something that perpetually make you unhappy? Alright, maybe not "unhappy" but its enough to not make you happy in order to let it go. Im taking of one of my highschool girlfriends who just celebrated 6 years of "happinness" with her highschool sweetheart. Was she ever happy with him?? Yes, in the first few months, lets say years. Until she discovered he liked other girls, many other girls as much as he liked her. Okay, maybe not so very much since he kept coming back to her....The "others" were little flings every now and then, everyday or so. Sad! Crazily depressing to see her moaning and crying over this little events and not to a goddamn thing except complain about it to the people around. Has the situation changed over the years? NO!!! It just got worse I'd say since in the beginning he actually felt some kind of remorse. Now after so long its like a well built-in habit. Like checking to see if the door is locked at night, type of habit. She learned to be ok with it. What the bloody hell? Why would anybody, grow to be ok with something like that? Well, yes what do I know about the world, but she is such a cute, smart person being taken advantaged by a dimwhit. Really now, she can do so much better....really really much better. Do you think she ever considered getting out? She pondered, but it seems she is VERY patient..and waits for him to change. Seems reasonable to think that the highschool "habit" and of the others years after that will AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE dissapear. NOT!!! At least she figured the best way to handle the situation....since you are stuck why not stuck yourself even better.....She is getting married to him! I just nodded my head. I did quit beating this dead horse a very long time ago since there is not a case in high heaven to convince her that what he feels for her is most probably not love. Even if this is "love" is his mind...it is clearly not the definition of "love" for her, and why put up with it? why waste your life..your precious, short life, dedicating more and more time, money, feelings and so much more into something that is obnoxiously clear to yourself and everyone else that it does not make you happy. Believing that maybe in the future it will? That is always a lost bet! Always!! trust me on this one. If it aint making you happy now, wants to point of waiting till Kingdom comes? there is a very high probability that want doesnt make you happy now, it never will unless you go crackers. Why be such a coward? Its your own life you are destroying.....and you only got ONE of those. Live it up to the max.

There is one thing I learned from my wanderings around the world....its worth keeping something the whole time its fun, enjoyable, pleasant...when that stops, press next and move along. Dont stay in something less than all of those. We are young and we have so many undiscovered things ahead.....why tie yourself down on the wrong side of the street in the worst neighbourhood when you can Keep on Walking?! :)
Be your own Hero! Grab your groin and get the hell out....the further you sink the harder it will be for you to swim ashore.

And a little disclaimer: This does portray my own opinions and beliefs based on my own experiences and the experiences of all the close people around me. DO CONSIDER what has be written here. Be wise! You dont have to agree with everything. Its enough to think it a little bit.
Its up to you what you decide to keep and do.
CARPE DIEM

New beginnings..

I have this blog since i was in college. "have" is not really the appropriate word in this case cause i decided to close the blog down about the time i graduated....and that happened almost 2 years go.
Well that seemed a long time and the archive was deleted. Unfortunately i miss those blogs. They were interesting...well the past should stay in the past. Nothing good can come out of it, can there?
How did this turn into something about the past when i actually wanted to tell a story about the present? So..what is going on in the present? I give you this: blogging is way more popular than it used to be. :) Yes, it is!! Trust me on this one. Everyone "needs" to open up to the world... and to prove themselves. Its an ongoing battle...how do i "specialize"? How do i distinguish myself from the mob? Well its easy. Theoretically all you have to do is be yourself. Practically people try to be so much different and special that they hit the group entitled "we are all the same because we want to be different"..that's a pun to some extent. Statistically speaking we, we all humans on Earth, have lots of things in common. So many things that we can call that commonalities "normal". Hey, I tricked you and you fell for it...ha haha. Indeed psychologists will always support that we are all different and special, all we need is to be ourselves and stop pretending to be something else. CAN WE DO THAT?? By "we" i mean some of the "we" 's that are out there.
It striked me a little while back how many people do that. Some quite successfully. How is that saying going "dont trust first impressions"..? i dont remember exactly the English version but the Romanian one goes like this: "aparentele inseala". I've seen the doctor Jeckyl turn to Mr. Hide effect....scary? yes! Episodes like that are always disarming to me, because I have this innate propensity of aiding the people around me. As one of friends said "when somebody needs help or is feeling something, bang, i do something nice to make them feel good, so that everyone and everything is ok around". That situation is disarming because trying to help in this particular case is not really the best solution...maybe not even a solution at all.

I just cracked up laughing at one of my colleagues who printed around 6-8 invoices in landscape.
Hillarious. She didnt think it was so...nonetheless I lost my train of thought. :P Or i just made up a brilliant excuse to stop writting. I think this is a good start to getting back on the blog thing after such a long separation.
Thanks for being here with me! In dedication to a special person that came in my life...and way too quickly left... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BwL_13enB8 I do miss you!