Nobody can harm you as much as you can

We all go through tough situations in life, but really nobody can hurt you as much as you can hurt yourself. That makes sense, right? Your own decisions limit yourself and make you suffer sooner or later and then you realize that you bitch so much about how others hurt you, when in reality it was you, yourself who is to blame. Its easier to blame the others around though, isn't it?
Why accept you did it? On this theme I drew a little something back in the day I was feeling artistic and creative.
This is how you feel when you build a wall around yourself and then try to break free.
And of course there is a song to go along with this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hMrY8jysdg
A very old song as it might be, its fun to listen to from time to time.

The idea is that I find myself once again in this situation when based on the previous decisions
I am hereby declared trapped. What was i thinking at that point? Well I'm sure I was trying to make the right choices. Maybe I even accomplished that, but appearantly it all got me in a dead end. Not cool. At least this time it's going to be easy to get out. The way has been paved by the first few experiences of this sort. Still it feels like Im in a very distant sad place. Like a dog who keeps running around trying to catch its tail. Can it be done?? Hell, yes it can!
I will never stop believing that one can make anything come true as long as you really, really really want to. Well, yes there is a small chance of failure, but doesnt that exist all the time?
I cannot remember a time when that ever scared me or made me reconsider. There is no point to do that. That reminds me of at least two people who got stucked and kept living in their own trap - and still do as a matter of fact. I know its hard to throw away something you have been building for years; especially if its something very up close and personal like a relationship. But why oh why carry on with something that perpetually make you unhappy? Alright, maybe not "unhappy" but its enough to not make you happy in order to let it go. Im taking of one of my highschool girlfriends who just celebrated 6 years of "happinness" with her highschool sweetheart. Was she ever happy with him?? Yes, in the first few months, lets say years. Until she discovered he liked other girls, many other girls as much as he liked her. Okay, maybe not so very much since he kept coming back to her....The "others" were little flings every now and then, everyday or so. Sad! Crazily depressing to see her moaning and crying over this little events and not to a goddamn thing except complain about it to the people around. Has the situation changed over the years? NO!!! It just got worse I'd say since in the beginning he actually felt some kind of remorse. Now after so long its like a well built-in habit. Like checking to see if the door is locked at night, type of habit. She learned to be ok with it. What the bloody hell? Why would anybody, grow to be ok with something like that? Well, yes what do I know about the world, but she is such a cute, smart person being taken advantaged by a dimwhit. Really now, she can do so much better....really really much better. Do you think she ever considered getting out? She pondered, but it seems she is VERY patient..and waits for him to change. Seems reasonable to think that the highschool "habit" and of the others years after that will AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE dissapear. NOT!!! At least she figured the best way to handle the situation....since you are stuck why not stuck yourself even better.....She is getting married to him! I just nodded my head. I did quit beating this dead horse a very long time ago since there is not a case in high heaven to convince her that what he feels for her is most probably not love. Even if this is "love" is his mind...it is clearly not the definition of "love" for her, and why put up with it? why waste your life..your precious, short life, dedicating more and more time, money, feelings and so much more into something that is obnoxiously clear to yourself and everyone else that it does not make you happy. Believing that maybe in the future it will? That is always a lost bet! Always!! trust me on this one. If it aint making you happy now, wants to point of waiting till Kingdom comes? there is a very high probability that want doesnt make you happy now, it never will unless you go crackers. Why be such a coward? Its your own life you are destroying.....and you only got ONE of those. Live it up to the max.

There is one thing I learned from my wanderings around the world....its worth keeping something the whole time its fun, enjoyable, pleasant...when that stops, press next and move along. Dont stay in something less than all of those. We are young and we have so many undiscovered things ahead.....why tie yourself down on the wrong side of the street in the worst neighbourhood when you can Keep on Walking?! :)
Be your own Hero! Grab your groin and get the hell out....the further you sink the harder it will be for you to swim ashore.

And a little disclaimer: This does portray my own opinions and beliefs based on my own experiences and the experiences of all the close people around me. DO CONSIDER what has be written here. Be wise! You dont have to agree with everything. Its enough to think it a little bit.
Its up to you what you decide to keep and do.
CARPE DIEM